I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
