Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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