I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
