why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
