If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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