he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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