I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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