then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just pee around me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
