Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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