drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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