he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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