I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
