Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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