There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize