Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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