i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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