I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
