six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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