I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
