i just wanna soil my oats bro
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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