So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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