This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
