I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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