i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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