I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
