They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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