why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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