The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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