the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
