You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize