I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
