And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize