Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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