her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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