There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
