The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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