whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
