I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
