In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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