Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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