The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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