The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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