yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
