Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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