it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
