I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
