I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
