He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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