i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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