I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
