You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
