ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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