try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize