Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
