ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
