so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
