Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
