You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
