So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
