i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
