We're facebook friends in real life
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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