I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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