I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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