Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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