ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
