turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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