He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
