Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Randomize
