Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I want is dick and wine.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
