i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He passed out mid-signature
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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