I accidentally had phone sex last night
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
