Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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