Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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