My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
