I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
